What is this?
Every morning — for years — Clifton Highfield posted one Facebook status update. Not life updates. Not news. Not recipes. Just one line, always about the status update itself. Recursive. Absurd. Sometimes achingly relevant to whatever was happening in the world that day.
This is that complete archive, formatted as a bathroom book — a few posts per page, each one a small punchline or a mirror held up to the feed.
The Format
Facebook gives you a box. A cursor. An audience. Clifton gave that box exactly one genre of entry: the meta-update. The status update about the status update. Every single time. This is the unabridged record — incomplete sentences, typos, and all.
"I think it's time we all stop for a second, take a big deep breath, and really reflect on this status."
Meta Moments
This status update has no headphone jack.
This status update is 15 years in the making.
If this status update should fight scroll to page 41, if this status update should run scroll to page
This status update ceases to exist if Facebook ceases to exist.
this status update references the presidential debate
Meta Moments
A status update walks in to a bar. The bartender says, "sorry, we don't serve status updates here."
This status update is available for short term rental.
This status update is convincing you to vote for a human.
this status update is waiting for
This status update is skidding off the runway.
Meta Moments
This status update is checking Facebook for poison.
this status update is humble bragging to all those oligarchies out there.
This status update is a snapchat that just won't go away.
This status update will require a proper wake prior to any unfollowing.
Meta Moments
This status update didn't meet expectations.
The perfect gift for the person that has everything is this status update.
This status update honoring the deceased in a unique and thoughtful way has been deemed
"This emboldened status update is saying terrible things."
Social Commentary
this status update is improv related.
This status update knows where its gravy comes from.
This status update just blew your mind.
This status update is jealous of that status update.
This status update is solving all the problems.
Social Commentary
This status update is reminding you to update your iOS.
This status update his been auto corrected.
This status update is rigged.
This status update is a tribute to #coldtowne10
This status update is too tired to fini
Social Commentary
This status update is a lousy houseguest.
This status update is the most popular status update by far, especially after you deduct all of
This status update is yesterday's news.
This status update is in on the joke.
Social Commentary
This status update is the beginning of an important conversation.
Th s status update shot the "i" out.
Dak Prescott replaced this status update and now it belongs to him.
"What happens to a status update deferred?"
Holiday & Events
This status update is about this status update.
This status update is thirsty for compliments.
This status update is shouting into the void.
This status update is woke af.
This status update might actually be elected president.
Holiday & Events
This status update is appropriate considering the current social media climate.
This status update is a refreshing break from the monotony.
This status update is a shout out to all the winners and a respectful nod to all those nominated.
What will this status update be for Halloween this year? A dumb joke.
I don't know how tomorrow's status update will be written, but the next days status update will
Holiday & Events
Status update sees something and is saying something.
This status update is fake.
If you end your sentences with a hashtag, you might be a status update. #JeffFoxworthy
This status update is asking for recommendations.
Holiday & Events
Tis the season of status updates.
This is best status update in the world, tribute.
This status update is a list of the 10 best status updates of 2016.
"This status update is the new normal."
Introspective Humor
This status update is poor representation of its peers.
This status update could be a face tattoo.
tfw you read this status update.
This is a sanctuary status update.
This status update is too important to be missed.
Introspective Humor
This status update. Am I right?
This status update is undergoing massive wealth redistribution.
This is a tent pole status update.
This is a gritty reboot of a familiar status update.
Storm clouds are gathering in this status update.
Introspective Humor
This status update is really gross.
You can stop reading this status update now.
This status update is begging to be liked.
The content of this status update is classified.
Introspective Humor
This status update is stating the obvious.
This status update is chasing the macguffin at the bottom of the Facebook feed.
It's not the status update, it's the humidity.
"As a status update, I update status, it's what I do."
Pop Culture & Improv Life
This status update is positive, uplifting, and splendidly naive.
This status update is sponsored by Facebook.
This status update is expressing frustration and a sense of hopelessness.
This status update is calming.
This status update is simple.
Pop Culture & Improv Life
This status update needs everyone to like it.
This status update jumped the shark.
this status update is using your bathroom.
This status update is flat.
This status update is episodic.
Pop Culture & Improv Life
This status update is jelly filled with sprinkles.
This status update is nonsecular.
This status update wouldn't be here without science.
Andrew Jackson posted this status update right after saving the dinosaurs from moon radiation.
Pop Culture & Improv Life
I hope you can let this status update go.
This status update has connections to Russia.
This status update is a complete repeal and replacement of this status update.
This status update will be in a show on July 21st and the 29th. To the 2 people who care DM for
"Alexa, please write this status update."
Absurdity & Surrealism
This status update is the least I could do.
This status update is concerned about the future of status updating.
This status update is giving the power to the comment section.
This status update is the greatest of all time.
This status update is an enemy of the people.
Absurdity & Surrealism
This status update is a real downer.
This status update is covered in pollen
This is the most powerful status update ever posted on Facebook.
This status update is straight fyre.
May this status update be with you....always.
Absurdity & Surrealism
You don't need this status update to be happy.
This status update is quite meaningful.
This status update is completely secure.
The only thing that can stop a bad status update with a pun, is a good status update with a pun.
Absurdity & Surrealism
According to the CBO report, this status update leaves 22 million people uninterested.
the kind of update that puts a smile on your face, a laugh in your heart, and a snap to your step,
New year new status update.
"Sometimes you wanna go where status updates know your name."
Banter & Wordplay
This status update has a fancy background.
What is the deal with status updates?
This status update has really let itself go.
No, you write this status update!
What status update should I post?
Banter & Wordplay
this status update hasn't really made a difference in the world
This status update is permanently burned into your retina
This is a catagory 5 status update.
get in line now because there is a serious shortage of status updates.
This status update just stole my idea.
Banter & Wordplay
Very few are privileged enough to witness this status update.
This status update is travel banned.
This status update just ruined your day.
donate your status updates here
This status update hasn't been edited?
Banter & Wordplay
This status update would be better if in gif form.
This status update is not an original thought.
This status update is rubber and glue.
Gleeking all over this status update.
Made it to the finals for most woke status update.
Banter & Wordplay
Put the status update back in Xmas.
This status update has no likes. AMA
I am the luckiest status update in the binary world.
This status update is not as bright as the past.
Banter & Wordplay
Future me is going to regret this status update.
This status update still exists, and so does that one. No surprise status updates here.
This status update is that moment you realize using that moment as a status update is the moment
This status update is saying something nice about you.
Banter & Wordplay
This is the status update that inspired ample empathy.
Thinking about all those status updates that work hard for influencer wages with little or no
When Facebook gives you lemons make status updates.
This status update is too true to be funny.
Banter & Wordplay
Is this status update my only friend?
No pumpkins were harmed in the posting of this status update.
This status update represents 3,518.5 miles traveled, 67 hours 34 minutes and 10 seconds of
There is nothing better than squeezing out a fully formed status update in the morning after a
Banter & Wordplay
Happy Status Update!!! May your notifications be full of tidings and good cheer!
This status update is rated MMXX
Target these 52 status updates instead!
You can snooze this status update for 30 days
Banter & Wordplay
The best thing about a status update is the end.
Honestly, think it's time we cancel this status update.
You know what they say! "The louder the status update the longer the recession!"
Happy status update.
"The following status update is fictional and does not depict any actual person or event."
The Digital Condition
This status update has a twin.
This status update is prime real estate overgrown with feature creep.
When I was a millennial I would walk uphill in the snow to post status updates.
You can provide anonymous feedback to this status update.
status update summer edition
The Digital Condition
This status update is positive, uplifting, optimistic, and blissful.
A long time ago in a status update far far away.
This status update is just sitting here
"Every morning is a brand new opportunity to have a great day." —this status update
This status update is unapologetic.
The Digital Condition
During the most challenging times, when only one status update was posted, that is when this
This status update is so good it made a greasiest hits listicle.
The calm before the status update.
This status update is part of the problem and part of the solution.
You are either with this status update, or you are against it.
The Digital Condition
This is the status update with the porch light turned off.
Please like this status update because it's great.
You know what they say, "one man's trash is another man's status update."
This status update is not an onion article.
The Digital Condition
Nothing in my stocking but this lump of status update.
Remember this status update from last year?
This status update is anticipating the next update.
Watch this status update instead of the TV tonight.
The Digital Condition
I recently discovered compassion and all I got was this lousy status update.
the thing about status updates is that everyone has one.
This status update is the best way I know how.
I think we can all agree that this status update is reasonable.
The Digital Condition
This status update is meddling with the 2020 election.
This is the right status update and that is the wrong one.
This status update is obstructing, just is.
This status update is destroying the planet.
The Digital Condition
This status update is a gradient display of emotional content.
Status Update+ Available for just 1.99 a month!!!!
This status update is a happy one.
The highest bidder can get this status update for 65% off!!!
"I don't know who needs to hear this status update:"
2020 — Pandemic
I really wish you hadn't read this status update out loud!
I just forgot the funniest status update.
Please enjoy this status update filled with well wishes and hopeful thoughts!
This status update knows what's really going on here!
It's ok to share this status update and feel normal about your social distance fatigue
2020 — Pandemic
This status update is not just a phrase.
Time to apologize for the lack of substance in this status update.
Hugging trees feels way better than hugging status updates.
This status update is a sincere thank you!
This status update is pretty competitive, but only in a bubble.
2020 — Pandemic
This status update was deleted a few times before it was posted.
That feeling when a status update has more share-ability than credibility.
This status update is a remainder to look for misinforimation signals when sharing posts.
Is this status update self actualized enough to recognize the pandemic began by bat? Same
2021
This status update is under peer review.
If this status update is too good to be true, then it probably is.
Mostly, I exist to status update, but I am not a robot. Beep. Bop. Boop.
"Mostly, I exist to status update, but I am not a robot. Beep. Bop. Boop."